The Holiday of Shavuot for Me

I am asking the question what does it mean to truly RECEIVE?

We use the word BUT this year I seem to hear the word differently.

Can I receive? Am I able to receive??

Can I take the time and drop into what it actually means to open my self to being a receiver? I know how to give. I know what it means to receive with my habitual fast track behavior. BUT what is it like to open quietly, slowly to be in the unknown of receiving. to actually be so open that you do not know exactly what you will receive

I just had an experience with a friend where she actually was angry that I do not know how to receiver her. As I thought about it I realized she is right. Even in my intimate relationships I like to be in control.

Can we truly receive if we want to hold onto control?

I am a person who practices mindfulness in as many endeavors as is possible and as I drop in to being more deliberate and stop being on automatic I have to confront that I have not been a receiver. I have mostly perfected giving as a way to receive.

It has been a transactional relationship. The quality I am opening to now is different. It is one of breathing, softening, releasing controlĀ  – being open to RECEIVE.

Stopping, breathing, softening, releasing expectation – what is that quality of receiving??

Perhaps i can be totally surprised??

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